Doubt And The Writer

My lingering doubts about my writing:
1. That my stylistic refinements aren't as refined as I think they are.
2. That my stories are boring to everyone except me.
3. That my ideas lack imagination and originality.
4. That my delivery is too pedestrian.

Sticking your neck out as an author while you still have these kinds of doubts is stressful, and finding out you were right about any of them can be crushing. But the only way to get anywhere is to take the chance.

The sad truth of the matter is there's someone, somewhere, sitting on a better story than mine and they're not getting it out there (or not even writing it in the first place) because they have no confidence. So I have to suck it in and take the niche they didn't fill. At least, that's the writer's gambit: that the audacity to be heard is an undervalued asset that will pay off one day. I imagine everyone who wants to work in this field as a real profession thinks along these lines at some point in their development.

But self-doubt and impostor syndrome are brutal and they don't let you go easily. Putting your work out there when you're a sensitive person is tough going. You have to be resilient and learn to only listen to the criticism that helps you improve. Any criticism that doesn't help you improve is just going to stress you out. It's not worth it. Move along and remind yourself you can't please everyone no matter how good you are.

But- and this is a big caution- there is a lot to learn from criticism and even harsh criticism can be worth its weight in gold. The best writers are sadder but wiser. Don't dismiss criticism right away as useless. Sit on it. Think about it. Ask yourself if it can be applied. Sometimes it'll take years for it to click and when it does it's like a light bulb clicking on.

You'll always be your own harshest critic though. I know I'm my own. I still look at my own work and wonder why I can't write something like some of the other writers I know. You know, the good ones.